Keywords:
gender neutral, masculine, gender role, girl, boy, feminine, preferred name, gender identity, gender expression, trans, transgender, support, supportive parenting, coming out, open, social worker, language, discussion, conversation
gender neutral, masculine, gender role, girl, boy, feminine, preferred name, gender identity, gender expression, trans, transgender, support, supportive parenting, coming out, open, social worker, language, discussion, conversation
Transcript
Tobie: So, then I identified as like gender neutral right?
Andréa: Yeah that’s what you were using.
Tobie: And then, but because I didn’t feel like a girl.
Tara: Right.
Tobie: But I didn't fit into the masculine gender role that's like, "Rah I'll have a beer, I'm big and strong." So I didn't fit into that. So, I was like “Well what am I?” I guess I'm gender neutral. And I, I started feeling more like a boy, but not like the stereotypical boy.
Tara: Right.
Tobie: I felt like a more feminine boy and I was like "Oh no! What have I gotten myself into?" And then, so, yeah. And so, I started identifying as a boy. And so, yeah. And, then eventually, I changed my name and so but I, like, really I think I knew about being transgender right before...
Andréa: Yeah, probably just from us talking about it. Like we always sort of made a point, um, from the time that the kids were little that we never wanted them to feel like they ever had to come out.
Tara: Right.
Andréa: Even though Tobie's father and I both identify as straight, we just didn't want them to have to ever come to us with that, and we didn't want them to ever be...
Tobie: Like you didn’t want us to hide it.
Andréa: I didn't want you to hide it and I didn't want it to be a big deal and I didn't want you to, I never wanted you to come home...I didn't want a call from the school saying that my kids were responsible for teasing other kids--
Tara: Right.
Andréa: who may come from LGBTQ families.
Tara: Right.
Andréa: Or, just identify themselves. We always just, we're just open about it always. So I think I'm like, I'm a social worker and so there's just that language in the house.
Tara: Right.
Andréa: Since I always talked about.
Tobie: So, then I identified as like gender neutral right?
Andréa: Yeah that’s what you were using.
Tobie: And then, but because I didn’t feel like a girl.
Tara: Right.
Tobie: But I didn't fit into the masculine gender role that's like, "Rah I'll have a beer, I'm big and strong." So I didn't fit into that. So, I was like “Well what am I?” I guess I'm gender neutral. And I, I started feeling more like a boy, but not like the stereotypical boy.
Tara: Right.
Tobie: I felt like a more feminine boy and I was like "Oh no! What have I gotten myself into?" And then, so, yeah. And so, I started identifying as a boy. And so, yeah. And, then eventually, I changed my name and so but I, like, really I think I knew about being transgender right before...
Andréa: Yeah, probably just from us talking about it. Like we always sort of made a point, um, from the time that the kids were little that we never wanted them to feel like they ever had to come out.
Tara: Right.
Andréa: Even though Tobie's father and I both identify as straight, we just didn't want them to have to ever come to us with that, and we didn't want them to ever be...
Tobie: Like you didn’t want us to hide it.
Andréa: I didn't want you to hide it and I didn't want it to be a big deal and I didn't want you to, I never wanted you to come home...I didn't want a call from the school saying that my kids were responsible for teasing other kids--
Tara: Right.
Andréa: who may come from LGBTQ families.
Tara: Right.
Andréa: Or, just identify themselves. We always just, we're just open about it always. So I think I'm like, I'm a social worker and so there's just that language in the house.
Tara: Right.
Andréa: Since I always talked about.