Keywords:
appearance, butch, out, lesbian, family, relationships, visibility
appearance, butch, out, lesbian, family, relationships, visibility
Video Transcript
Tara: Um, were you out as a couple in every single one of your kids’ schools?
Karleen: Yeah.
Tara: How did you make those decisions to be out or not to be out?
Karleen: Well um, looking away, I do, on most people presume that I am lesbian. I mean, again, you could just not say it and have everybody whisper it. I don't know, I just cant even, it’s not my style. Um, I have to say though, I did find it… the hardest with the… the older kids, at um, at, like I found, in all - like I’m just out in every aspect of my life, okay? So, I did find it the hardest when I would go and pick the kids up, or take them to school. Because then people, the other kids would start, they were just on it right away. “Oh who’s that?" Oh, well you know, "Why does that person look like a boy?" You know, "How is that person related to your family?” And, so, um, I felt like, just picking them up as a butch outed them. And I didn't, like that was probably the only place that I felt bad about it...
Tara: Right.
Karleen: ...you know, because I didn't want them- I wanted them to have the power to be out or not.
Tara: Right.
Karleen: You know, to rest within them. And if they wanted to tell about their family, fine, and if they didn't, fine. But, there was, if I was picking them up, there was no way to avoid it. And you could tell the kids just start staring at you right away.
Tara: Um, were you out as a couple in every single one of your kids’ schools?
Karleen: Yeah.
Tara: How did you make those decisions to be out or not to be out?
Karleen: Well um, looking away, I do, on most people presume that I am lesbian. I mean, again, you could just not say it and have everybody whisper it. I don't know, I just cant even, it’s not my style. Um, I have to say though, I did find it… the hardest with the… the older kids, at um, at, like I found, in all - like I’m just out in every aspect of my life, okay? So, I did find it the hardest when I would go and pick the kids up, or take them to school. Because then people, the other kids would start, they were just on it right away. “Oh who’s that?" Oh, well you know, "Why does that person look like a boy?" You know, "How is that person related to your family?” And, so, um, I felt like, just picking them up as a butch outed them. And I didn't, like that was probably the only place that I felt bad about it...
Tara: Right.
Karleen: ...you know, because I didn't want them- I wanted them to have the power to be out or not.
Tara: Right.
Karleen: You know, to rest within them. And if they wanted to tell about their family, fine, and if they didn't, fine. But, there was, if I was picking them up, there was no way to avoid it. And you could tell the kids just start staring at you right away.