Keywords:
parenting, post-secondary, resistance
parenting, post-secondary, resistance
Video Transcript
Tara: So how do you think their experiences of growing up in your family, and negotiating the homophobia in their various schools; how has that impacted on where they are deciding to go to university, or what they are choosing to uh, to study? If at all, it may not be.
Karleen: Yeah, [laughs] well uh, the oldest, our oldest son, he decided to go to Queen's, and I was like, “It’s not known for being very progressive, I’m just saying...“
Tara: Yeah. [laughs]
Karleen: “It’s not its reputation,” and um, I don't know if I’m going to get in trouble for saying this.
Tara: We can always edit it out.
Karleen: Okay, uh but anyway, he uh, I just let him know that, I’m like, “Look you need to go where you feel most comfortable...”
Tara: Yeah.
Karleen: “But just FYI,” and you know like, the young guys, they just think that you’re trying to boss them around with everything.
Tara: Yeah.
Karleen: I mean, just as easily as I could be telling him what food is in the fridge, and he could get, “Oh you’re trying to boss me around,” you know. [Tara laughs] So I said, “Look, it’s not known for being very progressive” and, “Oh you think I can’t handle it? You think I can’t keep my head down?” And I’m like, “Ahhhh, well… I think you can handle it, but do you want to? Do you want to be in the middle of that?” And uh, yeah, its just you know, he wasn't uh… like I said he just thought I was bossing him...
Tara: Yeah.
Karleen: So he wasn’t open to kind of a thoughtful discussion on that. But um I probably was bossing him so. [Tara laughs] But uh, I, I’d say since he’s gotten there, then I think he’s having a good time of it, um but he has been really shocked by what’s been coming out of people’s mouths.
Tara: Right.
Karleen: Because he’s never been around that.
Tara: Right.
Karleen: So you know, you’re a teenager and you resist what’s around you, well he had really progressive people around him, so he didn’t know there was something to really… resist.
Tara: Right.
Karleen: Uh, but it was funny because this year he said, last year he was “I can’t believe what people say about poor people.” He just found it really upsetting and then this year he goes “Nobody has dyed hair... [Tara laughs] where I went to high school, everybody had died hair. Nobody has dyed hair.” I thought, Well I hadn’t thought of that being…” you know, like I was talking politics, “And you should know as well that nobody will have dyed hair?” [Both laugh].
Tara: And, it’s, so that's your eldest, and how about Katie?
Karleen: Um, Katie is right now applying all over the place. I think that, that definitely... she definitely wants to be at a place that's progressive.
Tara: Right
Karleen: Um, I mean, she’s applying to Berkeley, which is my alma mater, so I [shrugs] warms my heart...
Tara: That’s exciting.
Karleen: You know but it’s kind of far away so I don't know, you know. But she’s also applying to McGill and um… Concordia. She definitely wanted to know from us where the politically interesting crowds would be...
Tara: Yeah.
Karleen: And where she can learn further on that. And she's an A+ student, she could go anywhere.
Tara: So how do you think their experiences of growing up in your family, and negotiating the homophobia in their various schools; how has that impacted on where they are deciding to go to university, or what they are choosing to uh, to study? If at all, it may not be.
Karleen: Yeah, [laughs] well uh, the oldest, our oldest son, he decided to go to Queen's, and I was like, “It’s not known for being very progressive, I’m just saying...“
Tara: Yeah. [laughs]
Karleen: “It’s not its reputation,” and um, I don't know if I’m going to get in trouble for saying this.
Tara: We can always edit it out.
Karleen: Okay, uh but anyway, he uh, I just let him know that, I’m like, “Look you need to go where you feel most comfortable...”
Tara: Yeah.
Karleen: “But just FYI,” and you know like, the young guys, they just think that you’re trying to boss them around with everything.
Tara: Yeah.
Karleen: I mean, just as easily as I could be telling him what food is in the fridge, and he could get, “Oh you’re trying to boss me around,” you know. [Tara laughs] So I said, “Look, it’s not known for being very progressive” and, “Oh you think I can’t handle it? You think I can’t keep my head down?” And I’m like, “Ahhhh, well… I think you can handle it, but do you want to? Do you want to be in the middle of that?” And uh, yeah, its just you know, he wasn't uh… like I said he just thought I was bossing him...
Tara: Yeah.
Karleen: So he wasn’t open to kind of a thoughtful discussion on that. But um I probably was bossing him so. [Tara laughs] But uh, I, I’d say since he’s gotten there, then I think he’s having a good time of it, um but he has been really shocked by what’s been coming out of people’s mouths.
Tara: Right.
Karleen: Because he’s never been around that.
Tara: Right.
Karleen: So you know, you’re a teenager and you resist what’s around you, well he had really progressive people around him, so he didn’t know there was something to really… resist.
Tara: Right.
Karleen: Uh, but it was funny because this year he said, last year he was “I can’t believe what people say about poor people.” He just found it really upsetting and then this year he goes “Nobody has dyed hair... [Tara laughs] where I went to high school, everybody had died hair. Nobody has dyed hair.” I thought, Well I hadn’t thought of that being…” you know, like I was talking politics, “And you should know as well that nobody will have dyed hair?” [Both laugh].
Tara: And, it’s, so that's your eldest, and how about Katie?
Karleen: Um, Katie is right now applying all over the place. I think that, that definitely... she definitely wants to be at a place that's progressive.
Tara: Right
Karleen: Um, I mean, she’s applying to Berkeley, which is my alma mater, so I [shrugs] warms my heart...
Tara: That’s exciting.
Karleen: You know but it’s kind of far away so I don't know, you know. But she’s also applying to McGill and um… Concordia. She definitely wanted to know from us where the politically interesting crowds would be...
Tara: Yeah.
Karleen: And where she can learn further on that. And she's an A+ student, she could go anywhere.