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Brenda & Nim: Coming Out at Home as Demisexual and Transgender

15/8/2018

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Keywords:
family, transgender, demisexual, conversation, strategy, coming out
Transcript
​

Tara: So would you tell us a little bit about your family.

Brenda: Well I've been living in Oakville since we moved there, mid 90s and Nim left me a note about two years ago about his identity. I was coming home from walking my dog had that started the journey  of being a parent of a transgender child.

Tara: Wow, do you remember what the note said?

Brenda: Oh yeah it said "Mom remember when if I ever need to tell you something important, I can write you that news. I'm not a girl. I'm a demiboy and just wanted to let you know so we start with next steps". And I went to bed like "ahh" and the next morning we had a discussion what does that mean.

Tara: That is very interesting. Tell us a little bit about why thought a note would be a good idea?

Nim: Um well I knew I kind of needed a kick in the pants to get the ball rolling like I wanted to tell her but I mean even especially two years ago I was a lot more shy than I am now. I saw I definitely knew I could just be sitting there thinking about wanting to say it but not knowing how so I figured just leaving a note and then like that would start the conversation first. You know we talked later and we still talk a lot about it but just to kind of get the ball rolling about how we would talk about it.

Tara: That's an excellent strategy. Good for you.

Brenda: You were in Grade 12 at the time.

Nim: Yes.

Brenda: Yeah.

​


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