Keywords:
trans, support, advocacy, trans advocacy, allies, social justice, preferred names
trans, support, advocacy, trans advocacy, allies, social justice, preferred names
*When Tara contacted Dawn to ask her if she approved of the way Tara used her words in a chapter in Tara’s book, Teaching Gender and Sexuality at School, out in early 2019, Dawn gave Tara an update of how her family was doing. Since her interview in November 2016, Dawn has gained full custody of her children. Her daughters have switched schools, and the new school accepts her younger daughter as trans. Dawn says it was a non-issue for the school. Dawn’s younger daughter uses her chosen name and the girls' washroom at school. None of the other children know she’s trans. Overall, Dawn says, school is a much safer place now for both her daughters.
Transcript
Dawn: So, she started the school year with her new name, we had a case conference at the school, I think maybe about ten days after school started. Because the kids see a psychologist in the community who has become a very good ally, and she didn’t have a lot of knowledge about this area when we started seeing her. But like, she has really done the work to educate herself, but also just to listen to the kids. Which is I think what a lot of people don’t do. People sometimes get caught up in “I can’t support this person because I don’t know about this, or I don’t know anything about trans people so I’m not going to help.” But it’s not really that complicated, it’s actually really very simple. You just have to listen to somebody and then treat them with respect. It’s not like you need a special education course. And I think that’s just an excuse that people use not to be accountable like “Oh I don’t really have enough education in this area so I’m not going to do anything, because I might do something wrong.”
But, doing nothing is worse in a way, than just like, believing people. It’s pretty, I dunno, to me, it seems pretty straight forward. But, my background is in social work, and I work at an organization that supports abused women, so the concept of listening and believing is already something that is part of my life, and it’s more of a social justice organization. But still it’s not like I got a manual in the mail that said “How’re you going to raise your trans kid?” It was just like this happened, and I didn’t raise this child in a gender-neutral way. Like they were pretty much stereotypically dressed in boys' clothes and put into boys’ things, like all the way along. It never even would have necessarily crossed my mind, though I did, I wasn’t 100% surprised, but it wasn't... nobody gives anyone a manual. So, I think saying “I don’t know about this” is not an excuse. You can educate yourself, it’s not that hard.
Transcript
Dawn: So, she started the school year with her new name, we had a case conference at the school, I think maybe about ten days after school started. Because the kids see a psychologist in the community who has become a very good ally, and she didn’t have a lot of knowledge about this area when we started seeing her. But like, she has really done the work to educate herself, but also just to listen to the kids. Which is I think what a lot of people don’t do. People sometimes get caught up in “I can’t support this person because I don’t know about this, or I don’t know anything about trans people so I’m not going to help.” But it’s not really that complicated, it’s actually really very simple. You just have to listen to somebody and then treat them with respect. It’s not like you need a special education course. And I think that’s just an excuse that people use not to be accountable like “Oh I don’t really have enough education in this area so I’m not going to do anything, because I might do something wrong.”
But, doing nothing is worse in a way, than just like, believing people. It’s pretty, I dunno, to me, it seems pretty straight forward. But, my background is in social work, and I work at an organization that supports abused women, so the concept of listening and believing is already something that is part of my life, and it’s more of a social justice organization. But still it’s not like I got a manual in the mail that said “How’re you going to raise your trans kid?” It was just like this happened, and I didn’t raise this child in a gender-neutral way. Like they were pretty much stereotypically dressed in boys' clothes and put into boys’ things, like all the way along. It never even would have necessarily crossed my mind, though I did, I wasn’t 100% surprised, but it wasn't... nobody gives anyone a manual. So, I think saying “I don’t know about this” is not an excuse. You can educate yourself, it’s not that hard.