Keywords:
human rights, legal issue, transition, school culture, advocacy, trans, elementary school, trans advocacy, preferred name, gender neutral bathrooms
human rights, legal issue, transition, school culture, advocacy, trans, elementary school, trans advocacy, preferred name, gender neutral bathrooms
*When Tara contacted Dawn to ask her if she approved of the way Tara used her words in a chapter in Tara’s book, Teaching Gender and Sexuality at School, out in early 2019, Dawn gave Tara an update of how her family was doing. Since her interview in November 2016, Dawn has gained full custody of her children. Her daughters have switched schools, and the new school accepts her younger daughter as trans. Dawn says it was a non-issue for the school. Dawn’s younger daughter uses her chosen name and the girls' washroom at school. None of the other children know she’s trans. Overall, Dawn says, school is a much safer place now for both her daughters.
Transcript
Dawn: So this school year has been better, because I think possibly the school may have gotten legal advice over the summer. And I think possibly they realized that I was going to file a human rights complaint, which I was. But I wanted to actually switch their schools, like I’m tired, I don’t have the energy to be the one parenting and advocating. And we are the first family in this school kind of pushing it forward. Whereas the school across the street from my house, they already have everything, and they already have one gender-fluid child who is actually friends with my child. So, the school has everything in place already.
So, to me it’s like, okay, let’s just save the time, save the work, save the advocacy, save my child having to be the pioneer when they don’t have a lot of confidence anyway, and just go to the school where everything is already there, they already have a universal washroom, the staff is already trained. So, that would have been my preference, and both of my kids would have preferred that. Because my older one kinda feels like she has to look out for “child’s name.” And then she gets asked a whole bunch of questions too. But that didn’t happen.
So, I kinda looked into what the actual rules were, and we made a meeting with the principal before school started. And then my daughter said “I want you to call me by this name at school.” And the principal was like “What bathroom do you want to use?” And she was like “I’m gonna use the girls' bathroom” and the principal was like “What’re you gonna do when the kids say…” And she said “Well I’m just going to say...” and use the new name now. So then the school had no choice. Because when they hear it from the child directly, they can’t say anymore that it’s a conflict between the parents, and we can’t make an accommodation without both parents on board because of the human rights situation.
Transcript
Dawn: So this school year has been better, because I think possibly the school may have gotten legal advice over the summer. And I think possibly they realized that I was going to file a human rights complaint, which I was. But I wanted to actually switch their schools, like I’m tired, I don’t have the energy to be the one parenting and advocating. And we are the first family in this school kind of pushing it forward. Whereas the school across the street from my house, they already have everything, and they already have one gender-fluid child who is actually friends with my child. So, the school has everything in place already.
So, to me it’s like, okay, let’s just save the time, save the work, save the advocacy, save my child having to be the pioneer when they don’t have a lot of confidence anyway, and just go to the school where everything is already there, they already have a universal washroom, the staff is already trained. So, that would have been my preference, and both of my kids would have preferred that. Because my older one kinda feels like she has to look out for “child’s name.” And then she gets asked a whole bunch of questions too. But that didn’t happen.
So, I kinda looked into what the actual rules were, and we made a meeting with the principal before school started. And then my daughter said “I want you to call me by this name at school.” And the principal was like “What bathroom do you want to use?” And she was like “I’m gonna use the girls' bathroom” and the principal was like “What’re you gonna do when the kids say…” And she said “Well I’m just going to say...” and use the new name now. So then the school had no choice. Because when they hear it from the child directly, they can’t say anymore that it’s a conflict between the parents, and we can’t make an accommodation without both parents on board because of the human rights situation.