out, family
Victoria: When she was 11, and her dad and I had divorced, we had been separated for a good while, maybe almost 2 years at that point. Um, and, so it was one of those things where I said one day, “you know I have something to tell you” and it was really kind of, she just took it, and she was, and at that point my mom did know, and it was really interesting because my daughter’s response was overwhelmingly supportive. So much so to the point that I had called my mom and my mom was like “well you’ve raised her right” you know? And I can’t remember exactly what my daughter said, but it was something like you know, “this is, this is good mommy, we will get through if people are mean to you out in the world or whatever, we will get though this together. This is great that you know, that you’re kind of being honest about who you are.” She actually even said so, she was trying to figure it out, “so you’re like Lady Gaga” [both laugh] and I said, “well I don’t really know about Lady Gaga, but you know.” But anyway, she was working with it, and she was good with it. And I’ve had always had, um prior to coming out, and prior to coming out, I’ve always had friends who were lesbian, gay, they’ve brought their partners by. So it was very overwhelming supportive, I’ve always been connected to people that she’s known as well. So it wasn’t like “oh this is something that I’ve not heard of, I don't know about, I’m not familiar with” and it seemed, it seemed good, at the time.
Tara: So, so having known people who identify as LGBTQ living in a family, in a community-
Victoria: Yeah.
Tara: That was open and had diversity in their lives, all of that helped with the coming out?
Victoria: I think it did. I think, you know because we could fast forward to where we are having more challenges as she is getting older-
Tara: Right.
Victoria: And I think what we didn’t have were families with children.
Tara: Right.
Victoria: All of my LGBTQ friends were no kids, they weren’t larger family units, they were more couples.
Tara: Right.
Victoria: Even right now, I don’t, we don’t have, I don’t know of anyone else with a teenager-
Tara: Right.
Victoria: Or a young - you know, my partner’s kids are even younger-
Tara: Right.
Victoria: Right they are in elementary. And my daughter is getting ready to go to high school, right, so.