coming out, gender non-binary, norm, gay, family environment, queer spawn, homophobia, secrecy
Tara: Did you have to come out to the kids?
Garrett: My own children? Yes.
Tara: What was that like, if you don’t mind talking about it.
Garrett: Sure. Um, I’m trying to remember. It was so long ago. My one child, and the reason I keep referring to ‘child’ is I’m trying to avoid pronouns because my one – my one kid actually came out, um, and I’m not disclosing anything they wouldn’t be happy to, um, came out a couple years ago as gender non-binary.
Garrett: And all kinds of other identities alongside that. So that child, I don’t think actually remembers me straight.
Garett: Right? Was three? And, in fact, has very little memory prior to my husband being around. So for that kid it’s just the norm, and, in fact, I mean there’s a running joke for me if they ever get married, the odds are they’ll probably ask my husband, because they’re really, really close, right? And so, that – um, Davray I don’t think has a memory of me straight. My son does. So my son would have been seven? Seven or eight, when I came out. Um, I don’t remember the actual sitting down and having the conversation to be honest. It was – I think I was also really, really fortunate that my ex – these types of conversations would have already been happening, right? So it wouldn’t have been a surprise to my kids that there are gay people. Um, and it wouldn’t be a surprise to my kids that my ex was okay with that, as well. So, that type of environment was already there. Um, so I don’t remember the exact moment that I explained it, I just remember all of the incidents afterwards of having to deal with the ramifications of it. And it’s interesting because now that my kids are adults I’m learning more about what their experience actually was like. They sheltered me. They protected me from a lot of it. Um, and so, a lot of the homophobia and things that they experienced as students, I didn’t find out until they were, you know, seniors in high school, or off to college and university.
Tara: Right. They didn’t want you to worry.
Garrett: They didn’t want me to worry, they didn’t want to hurt me, right? I mean it’s homophobia, it hurts. And so when they are saying types of things about your dad or about the family you live in, they used to keep it to themselves a lot of the time. Sometimes I had to deal with stuff.