School Forms, Asking Questions, Normalization, Sports Forms, Feminine, Masculine, Gender Roles, Relationships, Mother, Father
Tara: But is there anything the school could do differently that would make it even better?
Pa: I always say I would love to see the forms
Zena: (chuckles, nods)
Pa: but still, you know, that’s a little, a little thing. A lot of forms are different, like, “Parent 1, Parent 2”--
Pa: and that’s great. Uh—(turns to Tristin who is saying something) Pardon?
Tristin: Parent, guardian instead of--
Pa: Yeah, sure “parent, guardian” yeah, for sure, you’re right because there are caregivers and guardians instead of—oh, a little hornet action (swishes away a hornet) —um, but I don’t feel anything different about where we are.
Pa: But I want questions when they have them, that’s the difference. Is that if, if I'm never ask a question, well, then should I assume that they are extremely comfortable and have no issues at all, or—? I would love a question every now and then. Yeah.
Tristin: Because no question could mean that they’re completely comfortable with it or they just don’t know how to deal with it, so--
Pa: Yeah. Yeah.
Tara: Well said, well said. Ah, anything for you, Zena?
Zena: No. The forms was the thing. And it’s actually more often than not, the forms actually are good--
Zena: I’m actually surprised now when we come across one that says, “Mother, Father,”
Zena: And probably the only--
Pa: Most of them are for sports.
Zena: most of, the most recent was for sports.
Pa: They’re sports forms. (laughs)
Zena: Or like, (motioning to Tristin) his soccer form. And, they don’t care. You know?
Zena: I’ll cross it out, or, go whatever. It depends on my mood as, you know, “Which one am I today? Am I the mother or am I the father?”
Zena: But I don’t have to do that often
Pa: I was the groom, I was the groom.
Kate: Oh when you got married!
Zena: Yeah, way back when.
Tristin: (motioning to Zena) I thought she was the groom.
Tristin: I thought (motioning to Zena) she was the groom. (Tara laughing)
Zena: No, no, I guess I’m more feminine than she is--
Pa: Sure, sure.
Zena: if you really want to—that kind of raises that.
Pa: Sure, sure. You’re wearing pink. You’re wearing peach. (laughter)
Zena: Yes. But we used to get questions like, that, like, “Who’s the mother, who’s the father.”
Pa: Oh yeah.
Zena: I haven’t had that question in like, forever, and it’s awesome.
Zena: You know, I don’t even get the hint that somebody’s even thinking that. It’s the, you know, well, you might get a little hint, but they’re, our personalities are such that we kind of joke about it--
Zena: like, occasionally someone will, yeah, (motioning to Pa) “She’s more like the mother” and sometimes, I’m more like the father. It depends on the moment.
Pa: It’s those old stereotypes and stuff--
Zena: You know, I’m the one that fixes stuff.
Zena: (motioning to Pa) She’s the one that organizes stuff. But then, I’m the only that probably wears a little more girlie stuff.
Zena: (laughs) You know?
Pa: You know, it, it, where we are, where we are and what, I mean, we’ve been and so, 15, almost 15 years (pats Ely on the back) now of paving —
Pa: the way for families to be just normalized