student relationships, homophobia, school climate, lesbian mom, LGBTQ families, uncomfortable, name-calling
Victoria: Well it’s interesting because she has told me about some things, so as, and it’s really difficult because I think over the past couple of years, as her anxieties and tensions and challenges around my relationship have grown, um that these things I’m starting to hear about. So maybe kids weren’t saying similar kinds of things when they were younger as much. But they’re all kind of in this pre-adolescent sort of phase where um, you know, things are being talked about more I guess, or maybe she’s sharing more with me. But um, there was one incident where there had been some kind of conversation, I remember it was about challenging me and my partner. Then she says to me, I said something like “S, are the kids at school saying homophobic things?” And she’s like “yeah, all the time.” And then I said “well what is happening? What are the teachers doing about that? What’s going on regarding that? What does your teacher say, because I know he wouldn’t support.” And she said “pfft, people aren’t stupid enough to say it in front of the teachers.” And then I said “So does the conversation ever come up in terms of so is, how are the educators actively saying we need to have conversations?” Like, even as teachers, even if we don’t hear it, we know, right?! And so how are the teachers keying in to, or even the fact that this is something that we should be talking about. We should be talking about LGBTQ families and LGBTQ people, etc, etc. How is it even being brought in? Well in any way, of course it wasn’t she just said that yeah, like these two boys had something, and this had happened just that week. About um, one boy made a noise and another boy said to him “oh you sound like two gay guys having sex” right? And so then the other student said “I’M NOT GAY” or whatever, and I don’t know what all the language was, but it was just like, there’s just… that feel, right? And to know that that’s something wrong, that’s something bad, that every time that gets brought up. And I’ve heard other, she’s said other things in passing too, and I’ll say “are kids saying that? Do kids do that?” So there was this new girl at the school once she said, and this girl was actually talking about other people’s parents--
Victoria: and saying “oh I think so and so’s mom is a lesbian, or she looks like a lesbian” or all this kind of stuff. So S didn’t address it-
Victoria: But she said some of her friends were like “you know that’s really not cool-
Victoria: “To talk about other people’s mom or to say whatever whatever.” And I know there are same-sex families in her school, I don’t know about her classroom um, per se, I don’t know. But yeah, anyway, it just, whenever it comes up, yeah it’s like a negative thing.