welcoming, hockey, post-lesbian, Xtra, activism, advocacy, heteronormative, family life
Tara: And going back to hockey, being the only two moms, have you ever felt any kind of discomfort or have you been welcomed in the same way that you’ve been welcomed in the schools?
Shelby: I would say yes we have. You know, it’s um, it’s at the same, yeah, for sure... absolutely welcomed. And part of it comes to, can we do up the skates the same way? Do we show up on time? I mean, you know, what are the things that are really important? Are you willing to chip in for the sponsorship to go for the hockey team to travel? And do you kind of fully participate, or, and there’s been a full participation. I have to say, I mean in a more, sometimes I describe myself now as kind of a post-lesbian. Right? I’m in a 20 year relationship, you know, we’re really focused on our kids. So sometimes, you know, in my younger days, you know I wrote a column for Capital Xtra called Rude Girl, and I was active in our local community’s Queer Film Festival, and you know, pushing right? Pushing the norms and things. And I think you know, when you have kids, there is kind of a hetero-normalcy piece that comes into play where you’re not, you’re focusing on the kids first, and what their experience is. And you don’t want to put them on the front line of pushing. And so in a way, I’d say we’re kind of an incredibly non-threatening family. Right? So and I think that has been part of why our experience has been, there. So for others in the community that are wanting to push issues, which is fantastic because it makes it better for everybody over the long term, they may have sometimes more of a rougher ride. And so, that’s been, you know, that’s been our experience. That being said, if we were pushed in some way, where I felt like we were being disadvantaged or what have you--
Tara: Not respected.
Shelby: Exactly, I’d have no problem pushing back.
Tara: That hasn’t been necessary.
Shelby: No it hasn’t been necessary.