family, transgender, demisexual, conversation, strategy, coming out
Tara: So would you tell us a little bit about your family.
Brenda: Well I've been living in Oakville since we moved there, mid 90s and Nim left me a note about two years ago about his identity. I was coming home from walking my dog had that started the journey of being a parent of a transgender child.
Tara: Wow, do you remember what the note said?
Brenda: Oh yeah it said "Mom remember when if I ever need to tell you something important, I can write you that news. I'm not a girl. I'm a demiboy and just wanted to let you know so we start with next steps". And I went to bed like "ahh" and the next morning we had a discussion what does that mean.
Tara: That is very interesting. Tell us a little bit about why thought a note would be a good idea?
Nim: Um well I knew I kind of needed a kick in the pants to get the ball rolling like I wanted to tell her but I mean even especially two years ago I was a lot more shy than I am now. I saw I definitely knew I could just be sitting there thinking about wanting to say it but not knowing how so I figured just leaving a note and then like that would start the conversation first. You know we talked later and we still talk a lot about it but just to kind of get the ball rolling about how we would talk about it.
Tara: That's an excellent strategy. Good for you.
Brenda: You were in Grade 12 at the time.